Married Young

Married Young

I got married at a age which is definitely considered ‘young’  Well, it was young, I do not deny that.

No…it was not a child marriage. Young marriage, not child marriage.

And, I had to  see  SHOCK in the eyes of people, who were totally unrelated to me.

 

OMG Zainab, are you nuts? Itni desperate hai kya?

(Are you so desperate?)

 

OR

So no career for you? Just chulha chakki?

 

 

I can understand you are shocked, because you have different plans. But, please do not judge me.  Maybe I’m not ambitious enough? Maybe that’s what my parents think is the best ? Maybe I’m in love?

 

You will be surprised just a couple of years back, when I was taking a stroll in the park near my home, a group of  my friends mommies started whispering “Isn’t she the one who got married young”?

 

 

When I said hi, they said…& Zainab hows it going, you would be married for a decade now right?

 

And, do you know some of the ‘people’ who shot these questions at me now say :

 

Accha hai you got married, humari pata nahi kab hogi”

(Good you tied the knot, when you could. We don’t know when our number will come)

 

 

 

Although, I would not called these people ‘monsters‘ because lets admit we all have opinions. But, the ‘act’ of telling someone up front  “Oh, miss or shall I say Mrs’ with a lot of sarcasm does not sound kind to me.

 

 

I did my graduation post my wedding. Then, I was labelled as ‘oh she is living a student life‘ by many of my relatives.

 

The way they would tell my MIL that, Don’t you feel like becoming a granny?  Why does Z want to study?

 

And, now they say “Chalo good you enjoyed life before you became a mum” #Jealousy?

 

Well, all I want to say is that no matter what People WILL judge. So, there is absolutely no point in worrying more than we should.  What are your thoughts?

 

 

 

 

linking this article to Corinne #writetribe

linking the article to #everydaygyaan #MondayMusings

 

 

I am taking part in the   #writebravely #writetribeproblogger 

 

 

 

 

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34 thoughts on “Married Young”

  • So true. No one can decide what is good or bad for you. Judging is easy. But, one should never be harried by it and concentrate on one’s growth.

  • You did what you felt was right for you. And it is appreciable that you did not consider marraige as the end of your life. This is the belief we need to change that after marraige a woman’s life is over. It should be a new start. A

  • My cousin just got married as soon as she turned 18 and is studying engineering. Though initially shocked at letting go of ambition, now we are glad as she has a partner who is supporting her on everything ìncluding her education. And I realised I was using my own experience to judge her. Late Hua toh problem, jaldi Hua you problem. I would say just get on with life.

  • Lovely post , I think we should stop thinking what people say and think about us , as no body has the right to judge others life as no body really knows what the other person is going through, if we are happy with our decision that’s it.😊😊

    • I know this is a post which was long coming 🙂

      I stopped caring long back, but yes somewhere it bugged me so vent it out.

  • People talk. that’s one thing I’ve realized. They have to give an opinion on our life. It’s like a compulsive need. If you get married early, they talk and taunt of that. If you get married late, they find fault in that too. Good to have an opinion, but in a way, judging someone for their choices, that part of them is a monster I think. Maybe they aren’t all the time, maybe there’s good in them; but at that moment, they feel like a monster.

    • I know, people love to talk…and Im sure I talk too.
      Although, even if I may dislike something..I do not just share away 🙂

      I appreciate your thoughts 🙂

  • People will always have opinions about each other, Zainab. We all do. The one thing to remember though, is “what people think about you is none of your business! ” …it’s a quote I read somewhere and totally believe in. Implementing it is a bit tough, though, but we can if we try harder at mastering the art of ignoring all the talk!
    Hugs to you, dear!

  • People will always judge. No matter what you do… I have stopped reacting, I know it hurts sometimes. But I am glad you brought this up. Nice article

  • I so relate! People around me were flabbergasted when I wasmarrying immediately after my grad. I ws 21 and too young (I realise tht now) but somehow I’m jus happy coz I feel I got a lot done in these 9 years. I’m enjoying the fruits of my patience. 3 kids and 9 years later, I feel privileged I got the post marriage struggle outta the way.

    It works differently for everyone, though, of course. My friends are getting married now or having babies at the age of 30. But they’re happy and I’m no one to judge.

    Great topic to write on 🖒. Food for thought 😊

  • Mujhy bhi lagta hai 23rd tak ladkiyon ki shadi ho jaani chaiye, per aajkal carrier k chakkar me koi nahi karty
    Log kisi bhi situation me bolne se peechy nahi rehty 😃😃
    Destiny me jo hoga tabhi shaadi bhi hogi, logo ko ye samjhna chaiye
    Accha hai, aap married life se khush hain aur njoy kar rahi hain 🤗🤗😍😍

  • People always have something to say or talk about. You got married young and you heard it. Sometimes people get married at just the right age (by society rules) and still they face judgement on some point or other. And, more than often they attempt to derive fun by filling the ears of the MILs. It takes immense strength on the part of MILs to wade off such attempts. Hope you had and have a strong MIL.

  • Well, Jason and I had our first baby at 19 years old and got A LOT of judgement for it. But we are still together after 20 years and our daughter is an intelligent girl who is studying medicine now and will make a positive impact on the world soon. I give a big middle fingers to those who judged us back then because we made it!

  • Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say. That’s an ugly reality of our society! It may hurt but it’s best to ignore and follow what you believe is right!

  • Judgemental monsters are everywhere. No matter what, they keep finding a straw with which to judge us. It’s sad that we live in a world where openness and broad-minded nature can do real wonders yet we have people judging and labelling. Hoping things change!

  • People judge all the time i tell you! Either you choose a career to pursue or a marriage to tie knot.. there’s something everyone will always have to tell you otherwise.. That’s what we need to do.. to break out of the stereotypes!

  • People have nothing better to do than judging… you remember the story about the old man, his son and donkey na? An early marriage worked for you… you are happy. Unhe kya Karna hai? it does not define you na…

  • No matter what we do in life, we will always find the judgments hurled towards us….My Di got married when she was 20 and people said she married too young….I married at 26 and people said love marriages fail, my younger sis is 28 and has no plans of marriage as of now, guess what, people say she is too old to be married now ……LOL…. I have closed my ears and focused my mind and heart on happiness 😀

  • Good for you Zainab! Dogs bark but caravan moves on . What you do is only YOUR business. And believe me you can’t please all the people all the time . At least you can please yourself

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